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Below are the 13 most recent journal entries recorded in Don't front the Binman's LiveJournal:

Friday, April 11th, 2003
7:15 pm
a statement from Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, Mr Blackwoods public relations officer....
sons of dogs and pigs and snakes! they they claim they bankrupt Richard Blackwood! Blackwood is NOT BANKRUPT! he is having financial difficulties! HE WILL RETURN! HE IS IN HIDING AND HE WILL RETURN LEADING HIS TROOPS! HE DA MAN!

You mock all now, you mock all. You see, you see. BLACKWOOD HE RETURN! AND TAKE YOU IMPERIALIST LACKEYS TO HELL!

Neville Southall was being interviewed by Donna Air.
Monday, March 31st, 2003
2:52 am
oh and
hey, cuntface? hey cuntface? guess what?

yeah cuntface, guess what?

This is my town. Not yours.

Get out of my town.

Neville Southall OWNZ this town.
2:50 am
cruelly robbed
I had a great idea the other day for a movie. Went to see my friend Sal Hackenbacker III at New Crud Pictures (motto:- "If a car hits another car in one of our movies, it's like Baghdad at night baby") to pitch it.

Here's the concept. 11 clones of a fading soul star get together to rob three casinos in Las Vegas.

He knocked me back. Apparently he wasn't sold on the title. Whats wrong with "Oceans 11" i ask you?

Neville Southall has got out of my dreams. And he has got into my car.
Friday, February 28th, 2003
1:38 pm
have you ever noticed?
Certain people have names which are also actions:-

John Scales.
Tony Hawks.

There used to be an English rugby player called "Neil Back". I always wondered about that one. Surely you kneel forward?

OnlineHost: X i Am A tOwNy X has entered the room.

Neville Southall is currently on holiday in Biarritz.
Wednesday, January 29th, 2003
6:53 pm
following on from Mr Unlixes this morning...

Just what do we pay our taxes for, eh? We have a government PERFECTLY prepared to spend millions sending troops to a WARM place, but will they shell out any money to give us snow?


I know, i know, Gordon Brown is prudent, like, and makes sure that the public purse is kept all..solvent. But be honest kids, wouldn't you like a little bit of magic back? six foot of it. Snow, snow, thick thick snow.

Imma gonna start a petition. Already have, in fact.

Neville Southall has refused to sign.
Tuesday, January 28th, 2003
10:31 pm
when you were young, did you ever use the defence "a big boy did it and ran away"?

i know i did. worked usually as well.

didn't work for Osama Bin Laden though, did it? just shows...there's limits to everything.

Neville Southall has refused to comment.
9:27 pm
to me, freud will always be jung.
9:26 pm
sinister. thats a word, isn't it? sin-is-ter.

dextrose is another word which sprung to mind, and for the life of me, i don't know why.

Neville Southall has refused to comment.
Monday, January 27th, 2003
6:00 pm
yeah, and, like, another thing
Don't front Giovanni Ribisi, ok?

Neville Southall has refused to comment.
5:25 pm
nickelback plastic
I have a dream. and that dream - slightly disquieting though it may be - is for a nu metal Blue Peter. I foresee them bringing back the old stars - Peter Purves, John Noakes, that bird whose daughter screeches those songs with the face like a cat - and revamping them.

Theme music, obv, by Papa Roach. Everyone in hoodies. Baggy, low cut jeans a MUST bebe, a MUST. And - at some undetermined point - a live guide to self harm, before the camera cuts to a picture of Sir Richard of Manic with the caption "here's one we made earlier".

This must happen.

Neville Southall has refused to comment.
5:20 pm
Breaking news:-

In a shock announcement, the Government has revealed that it is to go to war on "shit satire". Details are hazy at the moment, but amongst those feared to be targeted are the entire cast, past and present, of the 11 o'clock show, 2dTv, Mark Thomas, LJ user "Getoutofmytown" and a small duck named Colin in the West Lothian aread.

Neville Southall refused to comment.
5:12 pm
Actor and singer Mr Harry Belafonte was arrested today as he stepped off a plane at Gatwick. Home Office spokesman, Mr Lionel Bart, commented on the arrest with these words:-

"Mr Belafonte's song 'The Banana Boat Song' is a clear incitement for people to smuggle themselves into the UK in a time of national emergency when we need to keep all of the blighters out. We have arrested this...intellectual dilletante as a warning to others. Britain is for the British. Keep out, Johnny Foreigner"

This is the latest in a string of police moves against musicians with dubious connections, the most contentious and controversial of which was Oxford Police's decision to arrest Thom Yorke, lead singer of Radiohead, because the title of his album "Kid A" "sounded a little like Al Quaida".

Neville Southall has refused to comment.
12:06 am
hey, Unlixes, guess what? Guess what unlixes, guess what?
I'm an irredeemably eejitous, liberal, tight as fuck, pathetically simple-minded, dribbling child!
See how compatible you are with me!
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